Breath, the one automatic thing you can drive

The only lever on the autonomic system that answers to you.

One dial you can reach

The autonomic nervous system runs heart rate, digestion, pupil size, blood pressure and a long list of other things, and almost none of it is available to you. You cannot decide to slow your heart, and deciding to be calm is famously ineffective.

Breathing is the exception. It runs automatically and it also accepts manual input, and because it is wired into the same system as everything else, changing it changes other things. That is the entire mechanism, and it is why breathing exercises are not merely a relaxation ritual: they are the one place the system takes instructions.

Why it works, briefly

Breathing in and breathing out are not symmetrical. The in-breath tends to raise heart rate and the out-breath lowers it, which is why the heart speeds and slows slightly with each breath in anybody reasonably healthy.

The usable consequence: lengthening the out-breath relative to the in-breath pushes the balance towards the calming side. Lengthening the in-breath does the opposite. Most of what follows is that one fact applied deliberately.

Three patterns, and what each is for

Each does something different. Using the wrong one is not dangerous and is simply ineffective, which is why people conclude breathing exercises do not work for them.

• To settle: out longer than in. Four counts in, six to eight out, through the nose, for two to five minutes. The out-breath is the active ingredient; the count is a way of keeping it honest. Use this before sleep, after an argument, or in the twenty minutes after something went wrong.
• To settle quickly, in public: the physiological sigh. Two in-breaths through the nose, the second short and on top of the first, then a long slow out-breath through the mouth. One to three repetitions. It works faster than anything else here and it is the only one that is unobtrusive in a meeting.
• To wake up: in longer than out, or simply faster breathing for thirty to sixty seconds. This is the inverse and it is genuinely activating, which is also why it is the one to be careful with.

Doing less than you think

The common error is volume. Five minutes is a useful dose and twenty is not five times better. People attempt long sessions, find them unpleasant, and stop, having concluded something about themselves rather than about the dose.

The second error is force. Breathing hard is not breathing well. All of this is quiet, nasal where possible, and should feel like less effort than normal breathing rather than more. If you are light-headed you are doing too much, and the instruction is to stop, not to push through.

Where care is needed

Breath holds and fast breathing are not for everybody, and the list is specific: pregnancy, epilepsy or a seizure history, uncontrolled high blood pressure, serious cardiovascular or respiratory conditions, a history of fainting, glaucoma, or panic disorder where over-breathing is a trigger. Fast breathing and holds can bring on exactly the state somebody is trying to avoid.

The long out-breath in the first pattern is gentle and suits almost everybody. If you have any of the above, use that one only, and ask a clinician before the other two. Nothing here is a treatment for anxiety, asthma or anything else, and it does not replace an inhaler or a prescription.